This weekend, the little lady and I took a road trip to Milwaukee. There were a couple things I wanted to look for at the Mayfair Mall.

(and let me say, at this point, that I'm so glad that the need to do this is getting less and less as more new shops open in Madison!)

One item for which I looked, and indeed found, was Molton Brown's Black Pepper Re-Charge body cleanser. It's pretty much what it sounds like, but it's a wee bit pricier than your usual body wash.

The mystery of the food magazines has been solved, at long last. Thanks, Aaron and Emily.

Now, if only I could figure out why I got a copy of Modern Bride in my name earlier this week.

To quote the venerable Vince Lombardi, "what the HELL IS GOIN' ON HERE??"

First, I can't believe Suede has made it to the final five. Can't believe it. Then, a model gets weepy and I actually feel sorry for her. I mean, c'mon! What's all this then?

Anyway, let's get this out of the way. Korto opens the show by saying that she's so close she can smell it. I like Korto so I will not make a joke. You can fill in your own humor here: _________________________.

All right. Anyway, in that aforementioned model moment, Leanne takes Suede's model during the shakeup. Suede chides the move as childish. Huh? Isn't that kind of the point? Leanne tells the camera that she felt Suede had an advantage with that model, and she wanted to drop a little kryptonite onto Suede's head of ocean.

Tim lays down the challenge. The designers will design a look inspired by a specific musical genre. For a fellow designer. Suede will design a rock-n-roll look for Jerell. Kenley will do Leanne up in hip-hop. Korto draws punk for Suede. Jerell gets to turn Kenley into a pop star. Leanne, in perhaps the funniest pairing of the night, has to make Korto look country.

Budget is $150, and it has to be done by 1 am that night. Right away, there are some real disconnects. First, Leanne raps. Leanne, sweetie, don't. Then Kenley states matter-of-factly that everyone in hip-hop is wearing high-waisted jeans nowadays. Then she grabs another one of those lawn furniture floral prints she so favors, and says it looks just like graffiti. These two moments beg the question: does Kenley actually know what hip-hop is? It's clear from the looks on Korto and Jerell's faces that the black folk know she don't. Nuh-uh. But it's fun to see Korto's demeanor peel back a bit to reveal a little hard street edge.

Jerell zooms in on a "Kenley Spears" look immediately, and they come to an understanding that she'll be "selling sex." This leads to the line of the night, from Kenley, who utters a line no woman would ever expect to speak: "Being sexed up by Jerell is a little scary." The runner-up, by the way, is Korto: "In the name OF JESUS, I am going to Bryant Park."

With a mere four hours to go, and a Tim visit forthcoming, we've already learned that Kenley is pretty hot in fishnet and big teased-up hair, and Suede is a classically-trained cellist. One thing already sure: Tim is developing a design crush on Jerell. He's been complimentary for weeks now. Meanwhile, Korto, Leanne and Suede need to bump up the excitement a bit. Kenley, on the other hand, gets snippy and defensive at Tim's critique. Tim calls her out on it, and proceeds to burn a motherfucking hole in her forehead. You go, Tim!

Kenley's look is, to be fair, completely hideous. The jeans are so high and tight they could be a US Army general from the 1950's. They're practically a unitard. "What does Tim know about hip-hop, anyway," Kenley asks. More than you, sister. More than you. I share Korto's schadenfreude anticipation for the runway show; Kenley's look is gonna be a train wreck. Suede, getting a visitation from a nervous ghost this time, is less than eager.

Does anyone know what those things were on the bed that Jerell said goodbye to on runway show day? One looked like an orange with a face drawn on. Stand-in for Blayne? I don't know, but it was kinda funny.

Kenley doesn't think the judges will notice the slightly bunching crotch of her pants. Um, has she met Michael Kors? The crotch is the first thing he notices. She's also turning to Jerell for validation on her hip-hop-cessories. It's pretty much "Right, black person? Hip-hop?"

On the mannequins, I was liking Leanne's look. But in person, I'm with Tim: Jerell's got something going on. Runway thoughts!

• Leanne's look for Korto: I don't care for the belt. It's too Wonder Woman. But the overall look is decent.
  
• Jerell's look for Kenley: Strong. Definitely pop star.
  
• Kenley's look for Leanne: NOOOOOOOOOOO. It's only hip-hop from the neck up (read: only hair and makeup save it).
  
• Korto's look for Suede: Also strong. The makeup actually detracts a bit this time. He's punk, not goth. But the look works.
  
• Suede's look for Jerell: Not enough. Basically a torn V-neck t-shirt underneath? Snooze.
  

I just had my first official restaurant review published in Isthmus. If you don't go read it, I'll cry.



Sala Thai on Fair Oaks Ave. in Madison, Wisconsin.

Click here to read the review.

Seriously, is Terri really gone? I'm not surprised, but I'm surprised, y'know? It's just friggin' crazy that she burned out so fast. Why couldn't Kenley, who is sticking with her tried-and-true approach (which is to SUCK and BE ANNOYING), have plummeted as fast?

So those special ladeez we were teased with last week turn out to be moms. Not the designers' moms, mind you. And they're not even the clients. The clients are in fact the daughters, who have just graduated college and still look like embryos. God, I'm old.

The pairings, determined by the velvet bag (is Sweet P's name still on the bottom?), seem to go over pretty well. Kenley got the most horrible one of all of them ("I got the cute [designer]!", she chirps a little too loudly in the workroom), and what could be more appropriate? Jerell's client is lanky and likes androgyny. Korto's mom/daughter pair has an appreciation for classy and funky that should go very well with Korto's aesthetic (plus, Korto describes herself as a "hip mom." I like Korto).

I have Suede pegged to be in trouble from the beginning. His client is a photographer. Now, I'm gonna tell you a little secret about Suede. Suede's all about Suede! Photographers, on the other hand, are constantly observing other people and focusing outward. I see a major disconnect in the works.

Leanne's client is fine, but her mother is a total loudmouth. Could be problems there. Joe's going to do a skirt/suit. Is that a 'scoot'? 'Skut'? With no specific instruction on the purpose for the look, some folks (Joe in particular) may end up with a somewhat boring design. This will be a test for applied creativity.

This week, everyone gets the flashback treatment, as the designers reminisce on their childhood and their first jobs. I woulda pegged Kenley for a UF girl as soon as she said "Florida," but turns out she's an FSU grad. I suppose; isn't that where people who couldn't get into Florida go?

Tim came and went this week like a subcontractor on lunch break. First, he brings in the clients for their early fitting. Jerell's is going well, with a nice, subtle (Jerell?) ruffle along the bust. Joe's girl doesn't like pinstripes. Leanne discovers she's going to have to redo a lot; the client is iffy, but the mom is downright monstrous.

Line of the night, at closing time, from Jerell to Joe: "You can work on Nancy Reagan tomorrow!" SNAP.

Another visit from Tim brings the clients back, sans mommies, for a second fitting. Leanne's changes have won her girl over, and Suede converts his client from wanting pants to being happy with a dress.

If you blinked, you might not have noticed that Tim actually left, but he comes back again to deliver the guest helper person. After that awkward "who the hell's this?" moment, we learn it's Jeanie Syfu, lead stylist for TRESemmé. She'll be helping on cut, color and style, plus she tells the designers that the winning look will be shot for Elle. And is it any surprise to anyone that the only designer we see talking over her advice completely is Kenley?

And like a thief in the night, Tim slips out and comes back one more time, finally bringing with him some constructive criticism. Tim isn't feeling Suede's jacket, which looks sloppy and a little uneven. I'm more against Joe's suit coat, which looks way too nautical. Tim asks how this connects to Joe's client's profession, and Joe says that he's not really considering that. Uh oh, Joe. That's a bad omen, going against Tim's advice. Who's in more trouble? Suede or Joe?

Of course, if there's one person who's just crazy enough to go up against Tim's advice, it's Kenley. And she does. Not only that, but she totally talks shit about Tim. That's not gonna win you fan favorite, no matter how much you go on to diss Suede later on.

A lovely moment in the Lounge, wherein Joe calls home to talk to his daughters--and to us about how he's doing this to empower his girls to take chances--can only mean one thing, folks.

It's the morning of the runway show, and the clients are getting dressed. Why is Joe's client under his workbench? While he's sitting there? And why is her first comment after getting up, "A job's a job"? Ahem.

Jerell points out that Kenley's made a miniature Kenley, and--oh, God, she's even got shit in her hair!

Korto's dress is amazing, but the texture-contrast jacket might not make it through to the top. I dunno. Time for Runway thoughts!

• Joe: Zzz...that flipped-up collar won't save this look.
  
• Leanne: Pretty good, and the edits worked. But too buttoned up? And she needs some lessons in walking in heels.
  
• Jerell: I'm probably wrong, but this seems too slouchy for such a tall girl.
  
• Korto: I feel like the dress needs to be longer, or the coat needs to be shorter. But the colors are great, as is the construction.
  
• Suede: Girlfriend is working that dress. Not sure on the coat though.
  
• Kenley: Man, that's one miniature Kenley all right. It's good. Dammit.
  

Stone Cellar Brewpub is a fine little microbrewery in the Between the Locks building in Appleton. The space has a long tradition, and housed the Geo. Walter Adler Brau brewery from 1918 to the 1970's.

The Between the Locks building is celebrating its sesquicentennial this year, and Stone Cellar hosted a party in its honor. For the week of 8th, Stone Cellar offered a special beer made from an archived Adler Brau recipe from 1948, as well as a 1880's-era throwback menu.

Russian wild boar chops, pottage stew, and roast turkey leg were the party fare. I made a special trip up on Monday the 8th, and joined my mom and her husband for a drink, a meal, and a Packer game.





The food was well-received by all, even if the beer was less universally hailed. The seasonal pumpkin ale was a little thin and bitter, but the Stonetoberfest was great.

Check out my Flickr stream for more pics and comments.

I've only had one experience with Fresco, and it was fair to middling. It was during Restaurant Week last winter, and while everything was better than average, the whole meal was somehow lacking.

Kristine, on the other hand, has enjoyed one other meal there that I did not. She got to go for work, and really loved her lamb chops over bread salad.

When I saw that Fresco would be hosting an heirloom tomato tasting on the first weekend of September, my first thought was that Kristine and her mom (a tomato fiend if ever there was one) would love to go.

So we did!

Please join us for an exclusive tasting event at Fresco. Enjoy delicious, locally grown, organic heirloom tomatoes provided by Keewaydin Farm, accompanied by fresh breads, local artisan cheeses, olive oil and prosecco. Stop by after Farmers’ Market!

Following Stella not being stellar, Project Runway takes us to a planetarium to see some stars. And let it be known that I saw the signs last week, and predicted bad tidings for one of the best designers this week.

Kenley provides the lead-in line of the night, announcing to no one and everyone that, after last week, she definitely feels like one of the best designers here. While this statement is patently false, it's also right up the producers' alley for providing an envelope for the closing action of the episode. So don't expect big things for Kenley.

Despite the impression we got from last week's promos, the special guests at the runway to open the show are not designers from previous seasons, but previous designers from this season.

The challenge? Each remaining designer will be paired up with a dispatched designer, and the team must create an avant garde look. The look must draw inspiration from the astrological sign of one of the two team members.

Gotta say, it's a pretty cool challenge (even if Korto didn't like the pairing-off: "God, Jesus, help me."). Interesting to see how uniform the remaining designers' signs are. Two Aquarius (Korto, Kenley), two Libra (Leanne, Blayne), one lonely Aries (Joe), and three Sagittarius (Terri, Jerell, Suede). Lots of animal signs on the loser side, though: Leo, Taurus, Scorpio. I'll leave further analysis to the astrologers. I just think it's cool.

With $250 and the designs sketched, everyone heads to Mood. Leanne's displaying more of that "late-onset personality" (HT: AV Club) that was first introduced with the spy act last week. I hope that's just a glitch. Meanwhile, Terri -- whose only wish was to not be paired with Keith -- is ignoring the surprisingly sage advice of her teammate, Keith.

Back at the workroom, I swear I saw a beef-patterned fabric on Joe's table. But that was quickly put aside by Kenley bugging the hell out of Leanne with her over-confidence (you-n-me both, Leanne). Kenley's response, in confessional? "I'm just having fun, and [begin "between us" tone] some girls don't like that." But Kenley, I thought girls just want to have fun! Man, what else did the 80's lie to me about? I hope you're not telling me it's not hip to be square.

Tim will set us straight. His visit reveals a few things to be true that we've known for weeks. Leanne is brilliant. Jerell's looks will either win, or crash and burn. Blayne's stoner/stream of consciousness thing produces some truly fucked up looks. And Kenley's sketch looks like a tooth (okay, we didn't know that before). Tim thinks Glinda the Good Witch. Hey, I know -- it's the Tooth Fairy!

But it's Terri we've gotta look out for this week. She is not feeling Keith at all. Sure, she's put down the pants pattern. But she's doing Leo. There's a faux fur mane in the works. Keith advises against. Terri just shuts him down. Tim tries to foster teamwork through flattery. Doesn't fly. This is bad news, people. I know I've been down on Terri a little in the last two weeks, but shit. I don't think she should be gone this early.

The next morning, we get to see a little shirtless Wesley, and I'm forced to remember how much the mere appearance of Daniel's face makes me want to punch it. The designers arrive at the workroom to learn that they won't have until midnight to finish, because they've been invited to meet Heidi and show off their looks to a small group of VIP guests at the planetarium in the Ameican Museum of Natural History. Oh yeah, and two designers are getting booted this week, plus immunity is gone for the remainder of the season, starting riiiiight....now.

Those VIPs? Why, they're those stars I mentioned: former contestants from previous seasons of Project Runway! Yay for Alison Kelly! She's cute, and definitely got stiffed in Season 3. Jay's great, too. Kara? Meh. Never understood her success.

Terri's not happy because the guests get to judge based on incomplete looks. Well, shit, sister. You just giddily said "60-second skirts" last week, but this week you just can't abide by it? Kenley, on the other hand, is supremely confident. Much too confident. She's lecturing Heidi on where her model's boobs should be (but please, Heidi, keep on telling us to look at your boobs). I just don't understand where Kenley's coming from, but like I said in the comments last week, I think she's cruising for a major breakdown.

Jerell and Blayne are looking sketchy, too. As the designers return to the workroom the morning of the show, I'm thinking that these looks are going to be a hot mess by runway light compared to the nightclub atmosphere at the planetarium. Terri, who swore the previous night that the fur collar was "her look," and Christian was wrong for disliking it, takes it off the next morning. Uh huh. I see smoke comin' out that tailfin, Terri. And Kenley's fixing the boob issue. Where's all that crazy confidence?

Keith, who has long since given up trying to help Terri in any way, has been napping in the Lounge. Tim comes to wake him up for the runway show, and my thoughts on it are right here, right now.

• Blayne (with Stella): Oof. What's the cohesive idea? Or, more succinctly, WTF?
  
• Kenley (with Wesley): No. Model looks like a spaceship.
  
• Terri ("with" Keith): Not necessarily awful. The mane would have been awful.
  
• Korto (with Kelli): I'm not crazy about the cape thing, but it's good.
  
• Joe (with Daniel): Also good, but the corset is a little sketchy.
  
• Jerell (with Jennifer): That headpiece is pure Jerell, those hip bumpers are pure Rami Kashou.
  
• Leanne (with Emily): Yes. Yes. Yes.
  
• Suede (with Jerry): Not terrible, but again with the cape.
  

Saturday: Heirloom tomato tasting at Fresco in Madison, featuring free-flowing Prosecco and awesome BBTs (the 'L' replaced by basil).

Tonight: Sesquicentennial celebration at Stone Cellar in Appleton, featuring Russian wild boar, the Oktoberfest beer premiere, a new Pumpkin Spice Ale, and (hopefully) a throwback brew from an archived recipe of the Adler Brau days.

Photo narratives are soon to follow. In the meantime, another totally appropriate doodle from Drew:


(credit)

In this episode that didn't feature much pre-challenge chatter (Suede didn't want new roommates, so Suede is sad), and an episode that we knew would feature one of the huge names in fashion (Diane von Furstenberg), you'd think it'd be all business, all the time.

And yet there were still two scenes set during meals in the Project Runway Lounge. Why?

A truly unpleasant two-car pileup occurred in my brain when Blayne's unhealthy (and apropos of almost nothing) fascination with Mary Kate Olsen and the designers' walk to the Meat Packing district were juxtaposed on the screen.

But that's where the esteemed DVF makes the magic happen, and she descended a grand-ish staircase to really open the show. You will design a look for my upcoming collection, she announces, and it will be inspired by the 1948 noir-comedy film, A Foreign Affair.

It's worth noting that, at this point, Kenley is dehydrating herself panting and weeping over the presence of Ms. Von Furstenberg. It's kind of embarrassing.

The designers will get to use DVF's fabrics from her Sample Room (admittedly, pretty cool even to a non-designer like me), and the winner's look will be made available for purchase to American Express cardholders (y'know, Tina Fey?). The proceeds will go to CFDA, which stands for Council of Fashion Designers of America, and I might have missed why they need the money, but oh well.

Stella demonstrates her uselessness once again, unable to pull the bolts of fabric down from the wall on her own. Throughout the episode, she's a crabby, obstinate, bitter pain in the ass--a bore, if you will--and sets about putting the lockdown on her creative process. Ain't no one gonna see what Stella's up to.

While everyone latches onto the layered aesthetic shown in DVF's look book, Kenley decides she's going to do just a dress. The inspiration from the movie comes from its three main locales--Berlin, Shanghai, and New York. You'd expect that a lot of uninspired Mandarin collars would follow, and they do. Including Kenley's. And it really seems like she's gonna be the sore thumb.

When Tim checks in, it's more like Project Runway normally is: Tim's concerned, confused, and occasionally impressed but worried about time. Last week was such an anomaly. Personally, I'm worried, because Blayne's sketch looks really promising, and he's not doing the colorsplosion thing. Plus, he takes a shot at Terri's (counting in head) seventy-fifth return to the Pants well. I don't want to have to like him, too!

It seems to me that the way to really excel was to go for the German influence. China is just so easy to underwhelm with (ooh, look at the buttons all the way up to the collar!), and while the potential to bomb out with a German look is there, it's got a higher reward potential.

But a lot are going Chinese. Joe is; Tim appreciates his ambition, worries about his time. Korto is, but she's actually doing it in a cool way. Her print is a little more modern Chinese, but is really pretty too. Tim recommends an editing eye with regards to the placement of Korto's (developing signature) yellow flash. Suede's look is too hippy, Stella bitches about the guest judge last week, and Leanne needs to refine the look of her jacket. Oh, and Kenley blubbers some more.

When show day arrives, it's shocking how unfinished the designers' looks are. This is Diane von Frickin' Furstenberg. Get your shit in gear! Terri shouts out "60-second skirts," and she ain't kidding. But even Kenley, with her low-impact single piece look, is still stitching like mad, and Stella's got a 900-number of a vest going out the workroom door. The thoughts?

• Joe: Better than it looked in the workroom, but still baggy and sloppy.
  
• Leanne: Could Leanne be the first since Jeffrey Sebelia to win with immunity? Yes. Yes she could.
  
• Terri: C'mon Terri. It's fine, but break out!
  
• Jerell: Way too costumey.
  
• Korto: I'm not feeling the 40's inspiration, although that could just be me. It's pretty, though!
  
• Blayne: Oh Blayne. Such promise with your sketch. Shoulda known better.
  
• Suede: Hello, HIPS.
  
• Stella: Meh. What's up with that crotch?
  
• Kenley: Decent construction, but no "wow" to speak of.
  

So there we were. Driving down Monona Road, and thinking that a Subway sub would be a decent, fast, not altogether unhealthy bite for a couple of only sorta hungry people.

Oh look, there's McDonald's. Let's have a laugh at using their parking lot for a turnaround! Ha ha, McDonald's, take tha--OH MY GOD THE MCRIB IS BACK.

Shit.

It's my worst weakness. I'm not saying it's guilty, because I'm talking about it to you guys instead of wallowing in secret shaped "meat" shame.

But I will say that only one of us came home with a sub.