Try looking up a recipe for pork spareribs. Winnow out the BBQ (a troubling thought, I know--but this is only an exercise). Set aside the Chinese recipes. What you're left with is a smattering of Hawaiian influences, and a bunch of outliers. What if you're looking for something else? Something...Germanic, perhaps?

Well, if you don't have sauerkraut handy, good luck. You're on your own.

This was where I found myself: two big packages of boneless pork spareribs in the freezer, and a hankering for that Germanic intermingling of sour, sweet, and savory. My wife is a good sport, in spite of some notorious missteps. (Let's not discuss my attempt at rabbit, okay?) I thawed one package and left the other behind in case this turned truly...unfortunate.

I whipped up a fairly ad hoc marinade of apple juice, maple syrup, Dijon mustard (in an approximate 6:3:1 ratio), a splash of Worcestershire sauce, and some minced garlic and shallots. It probably ended up being about two cups of marinade for five spareribs. They bathed for almost a day, and on my way home from work I picked up some Bavarian pretzels for a crust.

Since there aren't any recipes for boneless spareribs cooked this way--and for good reason, I suspect--I kind of winged it using some pork chop recipes for inspiration. In fact, there's a pretzel-crusted pork chop recipe on Epicurious, which proved especially helpful. I'm a food writer, not a chef, after all.

One side of each rib was dusted in flour, dipped in egg, and pressed into the Mini-Prepped pretzels. I'll say this: my mise en place apportioning was pretty spectacular. Didn't need to chop more pretzels, didn't need more flour or egg. I'm getting an eye for some of this stuff, at least.

Crust-side down, the ribs went into two frying pans (neither was big enough for all five), each with about two tablespoons of butter. Got 'em nice and brown, then flipped the ribs and put them into the oven, preheated to 410. While I was browning the pretzel side, I was rendering out some bacon fat for the side dish: Brussels sprouts.

The ribs would spend about 8 minutes in the oven (gotta love All-Clad pans), during which time I gave the Brussels sprouts the business, with a little minced garlic and brown sugar sprinkled in near the end.

Everything actually ended up being cooked properly, with two minor gaffes. The pretzel crust stayed in one piece, but that piece didn't adhere to the ribs themselves. It was a pretzel toupee. Also, this style of cooking doesn't properly dispatch the connective tissue that runs through the typical sparerib. As such, a couple areas of the finished product were unpleasant. Figures, my wife got those.

The flavors came through pretty well, too; unfortunately, neither dish was really to my wife's liking, which puts a damper on any meal. You want everyone at the table to be happy, and these flavors were much more in my wheelhouse than hers. But a fine plate of Brussels it was, with some rough-chopped bacon bits.

Couldn't quite please everyone with this one; I may try it again with pork chops rather than spareribs. But this time, at least, I was able to plate a dish that was actually edible and properly prepared. So there's that.

March is a turning point. Winter gives way to spring, coming in like a lion and going out like a lamb. The Ides of March mark, in both history and literature, the beginning of the end of tyrannical regimes. Stuff happens in March--big stuff.

And so it was with the continuing drama of Wisconsin's labor movement. While I wasn't downtown quite as often as in February, I still spent a good bit of time in and around the Capitol (more around than in, as the building itself has seen unlawfully restrictive access policies since the first week of the month). The month falls away conveniently on either side of the March 18th issuance of a temporary restraining order blocking the implementation of the collective bargaining bill.


The bill is not law (3/1-3/17)

Savvy readers will recall that I let slip a fine bowl of guong chow noodles from Wah Kee; they started off the month on a fine, pleasantly oily note. A trip to Sushi Muramoto resulted in quite a few new tastes. The salmon skin roll is particularly nice, and the shrimp tempura lived up to the guilty pleasure hype that had been lavished upon it by friends.

There were, of course, a couple trips to King and Mane for PBR tacos, though throughout this month the level of service at K&M continued to decline. They really need to have more staff at the ready for busy periods, and to cover the physically-divided space. But the real discovery on the Square was the Blowin' Smoke BBQ cart. Their sliced pork sandwich was cheap, appropriately sauced, and endowed with a smoke ring sadly not seen often enough 'round these parts.


The bill is still not law (3/18-3/31)

Like Madison's weather, dining this month reversed the aphorism; coming in like a lamb, my March-in-Food went out like a hard-charging, hungry-for-antelope lion. It was, of course, completely pitch-perfect that Kristine and I were at The Victory Cafe when the TRO was announced by Judge Sumi. Their cherry and cocoa nib scone was a fine accompaniment. And were it not for PBR tacos, Underground Kitchen's pretzel dogs might have become the official protest food of #wiunion; as it is, co-owner Jonny Hunter tells me they're likely to never leave the menu at the rate they're being ordered.

A first trip to Umami Ramen and Dumpling Bar was very positive; Merchant's first impression was mixed--good food, decent drinks, and service that varied from nice (ours) to haughty (adjacent table). A return to our old Willy Street neighborhood for The Weary Traveler's infrequent and wonderful pork kee mow special very nearly came up empty; Eldorado Grill's brunch succeeded as it always does, though the service here was unusually weak.


The best thing I ate

This was the hardest call I've had to make in Kyle Ate Here's brief history. That salmon skin roll was great, and PBR tacos are like Michael Jordan: the greatest ever, but only winning MVP for six of 15 seasons to give Magic and the Mailman a shot. Ultimately, though the Hit the Trail pancake at Eldorado was pretty flawless, and the Blowin' Smoke 'cue hit the spot, there are two clear contenders: the Brussels sprouts with lemon at Merchant, and the hot link sandwich at Papa Bear's BBQ. Both were spectacular--the Brussels both rich and bright together; the hot link smoky, sweet, and massive. I'd order both right after finishing the first, but since the Brussels wouldn't kill me if I did, I'll give them the nod.

Now, off to the rest of the internet to watch election results come in.